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Caregiver Resume   
03:00pm 17/03/2009
  Here's what I pulled together in this current job search. Any suggestions for my first school/work balancing act?


A part-time position in the elder care field, potentially organizing activities.


Presently Attending, Portland Community College, Portland OR
Pursuing Bachelor’s Degree in Theatre Arts
Current GPA: 3.63


Emerson House Alzheimer’s Residence, Portland OR (January-July 2007)
• Activities of Daily Living, including feeding, bathing, transferring, changing, arts & crafts.
Medication Aide
• Delegated caregiver responsibilities.
• Passed medication, responded to first aid situations, checked blood sugar, injected insulin, guided daily exercises and ordered medication.
Braum’s Ice Cream & Dairy Stores, Tulsa OK (August 2002-August 2006)
Crew member
• Food preparation, custodial work, customer service and stocking product.
Crew Leader, Shift Supervisor, Assistant Manager
• Inventory, delegating employee responsibilities, cost control.

Other Experience

• Illumination Project, interactive social justice theatre program, Portland Community College (2008-present).
• Fundraising for Black Rock Boutique, Burning Man camp (2008-present).
• Community Theatre in Tulsa, OK (2002-2005).
• Academic Theatre at Portland Communty College as actor and assistant stage manager (2007-present).
• Tutor at Jackson Elementary School, Tulsa OK, (2001).
6 risks|leap into the void
12:37pm 12/02/2009
  Impro: Improvisation and the Theatre Impro: Improvisation and the Theatre by Keith Johnstone

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
Definitely a book to reread every few years. I feel a revival of my inner-contrarian and I've gotten a few improv games out of it to boot! The chapter on status is hiLARious. I believe I now have a new perspective on self-expression as not really being about the individual, especially in theatre. I had a lover once who said making art and becoming an artist were peculiar to the West. Johnstone expanded on this idea in a way that made me a bit uncomfortable at times, making broad claims from what seemed to me an imperialist perspective. But at least he was trying not to apply European standards of art to the rest of the world.

View all my reviews.
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01:22pm 10/02/2009
  1. See an advisor about visiting SOU & future classes
2. Put together my bookshelf
3. Taxes
5. Catch up on IP journals
6. Get all the Mardi Gras flyers out
7. Apply for caregiver jobs over spring break or before
8. Apply for '09-'10 scholarships
9. Judas/Caliban meditation
10. YOGA
11. Construction paper for PANTS poster
12. BRB meeting notes

13. Sit in compassion for people with whom I am in competition/collaboration
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from 9 months ago:   
02:18am 31/12/2008
  Creativity 3s (in no particular order or seperateness)

1. being aware of the next step (intimacy/structure)
2. deciding to act (passion/energy)
3. accepting the consequences, ¨mistakes¨ and all (commitment/purpose)
2 risks|leap into the void
3 ideas I hate   
11:17pm 20/12/2008
  Self-perpetuating Guilt
Is there any other kind? Guilt, guilt, wonderful guilt! I wake up guilty, I jump into a guilt shower and try to clean all the guilt off, but the water emanates guilt. I was lucky enough to be born with absurdly easy access to water that doesn't make me sick and is available at a moment's notice. Unless I'm downtown late at night. My God, is that the worst water-shortage predicament I can think of? I feel so guilty because I feel guilty because I feel guilty because I feel guilty because I feel guilty! Fuck me!

After my guilt shower with my sweat-shop-made toiletries that I didn't buy at WalMart because I'm too yuppie (read: deluded about my complicity) to stoop to actually remind myself of the messages that perpetually infiltrate my consciousness through the media. Which is plural by the way--but I feel guilty whenever I notice people pretending it's singular, feel superior just like when I notice people can't spell, especially people who seem so confident otherwise. Bad spellers who walk the streets with their heads held high! The gall! They should hide in their hovels and keep their noses in their primers until it sticks! If it doesn't stick, then they should try spellinng yoga. I hear there's a woman in a panda suit who makes yoga videos for bad spellers. I'm such a bad-speller oppressor. I want to die. Remember kids, it's down the road, not across the street.

Deliberate Crushes
Oh, you are so kind to me. We actually seem to have a chance at the fairy tale thing! I mean, you're the right age for the best possible Chinese zodiac compatability, you're bloody hot, you seem to be single like moi, and we would make the most amazing kids/item/family/b&b/traveling circus/restaurant/soul-healing-connection/ego-humbling-sex/roadtrip/partnerrs-in-crime. My utter lack of anything to say to you when I'm in your presence simply means I'm ready to take it to the next level: The Crush.

I'll find everything I can about you on the internet. I'll save my funniest stories for when I'm with you, only to bumble them out like an idiot. I'll make cute little comments on your social networking profile. I'll flirt with you. It will be the kind of flirting that neither of us sure is really going anywhere, and you'll play along briefly until one of us loses the chicken game (me). Because I'll think the mature way (read: the controllable way) to break the news of my attraction is to email you, logically outlining your good points, your endearing points and most importantly the various fated moments we shared that created something else, something bigger than both of us. I'll remind you of the magic we feel when we're together and you will have no choice but to fall madly head over heels because I'm such the charmer, that's what they say.

Pigeons, with their sonorous calliope of song, always with the shitting. awwWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
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the house search is on...   
06:46pm 14/10/2008

loves & doves
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theatrical formulae   
11:35am 14/10/2008
  activity + objective - attitude = mime
attitude + objective - activity = radio theatre
activity + attitude - objective = meditation
activity + objective + attitude = action
5 risks|leap into the void
things to be responsible for and wake up to   
10:40am 29/09/2008
  ~doing homework when it's assigned and "warming up" before classes
~meeting people where they are, honestly
~clearly stating my needs to those I live with
~keeping closer track of money
~giving (gold) to myself when i cannot give (gold) to others
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Left brain times   
10:02am 23/09/2008
  So...I had been looking forward to taking the scriptwriting class this quarter, the only time it's offered. I procrastinated on registering, so I ended up waitlisted and registering for the second required writing class, comp 122 in case there wasn't room in the scriptwriting class. For two central reasons I am choosing the comp class. There are several bonus (!) results of this choice. 1) I am attracted to both of the ladies I sat between for Algebra today, and the teacher, yet this attraction helps me focus somehow. She has a softly direct energy like the teacher I had last fall. Yay. Also the new scriptwriting teacher just makes me miss Gretchen. The chief reasons for dropping scriptwriting are:

The stars are right for some left brain work/play. Until the end of July, an important transit in my chart is Saturn trine Mercury, mental disciplineCollapse ). The personal consultation I had with the astrologer in June mentioned this as an excellent time for studying frameworks on which I can build on for the future. He was happy that I was in school at this time, and from the astro.com blurb above, especially the beginning mentioning that it's time to use the rational influence of Saturn balanced with the talkiness of Mercury to learn new disciplines and carry out long-standing plans, not to be dreamy or...soft. Not to worry, P!nk. You'll always have pink on the inside you can save for later (not save from some alien evil).

My body will thank me! With the time right for tactile, rational thinking, it's good that I'm taking Algebra right now. With the last remaining Algebra class at 7:30 am on Tuesday and Thursday, and the scriptwriting class is Monday/Wednesday at 7 pm. That means 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep three days a week. My dreamlife relies on having eight hours a night. Just because this is a rational time, don't think I ain't goona keep consulting my dreams for answers.

I had an informative dream just last week, the night before going with some folks to the Gorge to hike and collect runestones with Aimee, her sister and Sheleigh, who looks like she might be my future housemate. I was in a grocery store with my stepdad in OKC and saw a classmate from interlochen who was in an andrew lloyd weber musical and still does bway stuff (we once had our backs together for an acting exercise!)--then i saw logan and introduced them as if logan had gone to interlochen too. It's important that the ghost of 11th grade is connected to my present. (Failed potential wha?!) I had a dream two nights prior where I was getting on a plane to BM and went over to talk to David Gallic with long dreds (wisdom/burden/gift) who was getting on another plane. Zoee was the mother of the twin infants he was carrying (my new directions in home and school?), but she was nowhere to be seen. I missed my plane to BM and ended up going along to take care of the babies.

Meanwhile it's getting cold at my house and I do not have the initiative to alleviate this problem before I move out in just over a month. Since the current trend for the housemates is to spend very little time at home, why not join them? I'm in school. One of my goals is to be more active in the boutique. I have tea and blankets to keep me warm.
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balance of threes   
01:17pm 21/09/2008
  3 places I am learning generosity:

The gift economy is a revolutionary, pre-traditional, at once conservative and liberal practice that imitates potlatch self-sufficiency balanced with the faith that there is enough for everyone. It's transcendent of all divisions because it lies at the heart of all organized structures which aim to distribute material and immaterial wealth. Beyond belief, it's the natural tendency for people to give to something at the space between us by way of giving to other individuals doing the same (whether they are trying to participate or not). Presence is a gift. Accepting a gift is a gift. Community isn't just another hollow belief, it's the Truth...at the beginning, middle and end. We humans are free to create community now. The most sustainable community supports the individual in communing with the self and with Mystery.

Improv theatre, which is ultimately generous because its very existence depends on not depending on any preconceived notion as to where a performance is going. The power for each link in a communication sequence lies with the individual, while the foci are at the spaces between us, because of our individual (belief?) in this third thing. Extremely simple, formal exercises in communication help us to break down the lazy, selfish habits and perhaps spark a desire in us to connect completely equally (because of its generosity).

The snuggle parties and the culture of brave boundary experimentation balanced with compassionate boundary appreciation have helped me to deepen and expand my interpersonal relationships and touch negotiation. I haven't been to a snuggle party (snuggle optional party?) in months, but this new improv class reminded me of the warmth created in the snuggle party context, with its balance of complete respect of individual power and generous, light-hearted devotion to the infinite potential in the space between us. To truly connect with another where they're at requires the bravery and compassion (is that generosity?) to ask a question and accept yes and no as equal answers. Complete permission without coercion in pursuit of a hidden agenda may not be practically plausible, but hope for such a kind of clear communication lies in that childlike wonder I feel when I dance with (not at) spirit, in the space between us.

Thank you teachers. Hello Hawk in my backyard.
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01:49am 20/09/2008
  That's what I'm reminded of with my ear piercing. It itches, but I must leave it alone. Lots of things itch right now, but it's best to just be still with many of those desires and germinate.

It felt so good to be with the Dances of Universal Peace folks tonight. Not quite as firey, but a very strong part of me wants to be with people who remind me (with their looking in) to look into myself. It was so curious that as I rode home (for comparison?), I joined some freak bike makers who were on a monthly ride-somewhere-with-music-on-a-bike-trailer-to-smokendrink. A lovely Atlantan introduced herself and gave me a cigarette. The cigarette prayer I gave was for integration--I left a haiku on someone's bike in thanks for accepting me on the ride. But then I went home. I didn't want to drink.

There is such archeology in my closets. It's rather a blessing to not yet have the finances to move or to have found the right craigslist post. It will be lovely to prune some of the stuff I no longer need. Tomorrow I shall do some of that aforementioned excavating, with the goal of finding my driver's license, birth certificate and social security card. Are the latter in Tulsa?
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just got their album   
12:24am 13/09/2008

if this doesn't make you crack a smile, you might want to take drugs.
1 risk|leap into the void
01:23pm 10/09/2008
  One of the series of disjointed gems from Robert Moss' The Three "Only" Things, Tapping The Power of Dreams, Coincidence and Imagination:

"Our dreams allow us to step outside boxes we put ourselves in or allow others to build around us.

I once dreamed I was strolling around a zoo and became disgusted by the behavior of a crowd of people who were gawping and poking fun at a maned lion through the bars of his cage. Suddenly one of the tourists screamed, 'The gates are open!' All the people fled the scene, terrified the lion would get out and attack them. I stepped through the open gate, and the lion jumped up, put his paws on my shoulders and licked my face like a friendly dog. He wanted me to turn around and understand the true situation. When I turned around, I noticed that in this scene it was the humans, not the animals, who were living behind bars. The place of the lion was a place of nature, freedom, and unbounded horizons. The lion instructed me in his gravelly lion voice, 'You see, humans are the only animals that choose to live in cages.'

In one way or another, our dreams take us to the place of the lion, the place of freedom."

Here's to playing with the lions, Cassidy. Or at least the otters.

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10:08pm 18/07/2008
  Added to the list of all-things-being-equal deeds:

~sing a lullaby to my true love in the Ear of Dionysus
1 risk|leap into the void
Nothing was ever meant to travel north in the shaft.   
11:23am 30/06/2008
  This is the raunchy Ghost spoof I'm doing at PCC It's gonna be utterly fabulous!

Benefit Performance of
Meatloaf in the Moonlight

Help send the cast and crew of Meatloaf in the Moonlight to New York City
to participate in the The Riant Theatre’s Strawberry One-Act Festival!

Friday and Saturday, July 11th and 12th
@ 7:30pm at the PCC Sylvania Little Theatre
(additional donations graciously and gladly accepted)

Written and Directed by Starring:
Assistant Director ZOEE GARZA

But that’s not all! Also at the performance

The Existential Vigilantes
Written and Directed by Nick James

The Thwappening
Written and Directed by David Gallic

*This show is intended for a mature audience*
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51% is a revolution   
01:01pm 23/06/2008
  Nuzzled with strangers' in a glorious puppy pile last night, we were discussing how group mind works in the wild. If 51% geese in a flock of geese glance in one direction, the flock will turn. However it works, through ESP, pattern reproduction, body language or organized democratic consensus, group mind in human and non-human animals is proven again and again to be collective, not authoritarian. An Alpha only lasts for so long. We naturally look for leaders to lead in specific moments but we are trained to look for leaders who will lead in all moments. Why? Does it really matter? How do I, in my life, from moment to moment, choose to lead or follow? By listening to the voices of connection within and without: chakras, memories, desires, needs, heroes, teachers, students, playmates.

Vive Le Cuddlution!
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03:37pm 22/06/2008
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living, I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul, if you can be faithless and therefore be trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

2 risks|leap into the void
before and after leaving contact dance improv tonight   
01:29am 18/06/2008
  at Conduit

heavy tender light
open softly gazing eyes
hear the sermon's shouts

believe in freedom
love sharp edges, forgive me
two places at once

trust me, murderer
awaken the downy cheek
squeek of sweat on wood

at Margueritia

house creaking, ticking
dishes and dip, labor's yield
more done without plans

dusting this temple
keeping up with the joneses
funny to draw lines

reluctant guru
he said you're a theatre guy
you'll do what you want
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Housemate Call July 1st   
08:50pm 07/06/2008
  Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey peoples of the internet! Little (cheap) room, big house, 35th & Hawthorne, easy-going atmosphere, 2 dogs, four other people, two bathrooms, big yard, monthly group cleaning night. It will be open at least by July 1st, maybe a bit earlier. Know any awesome, gentle souls in the way of home-searching? Lemme know straight up cuz we're searchin the craiglist next week. Righteous.  
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thrill of the hunt   
03:02pm 03/06/2008
  reasoned excuses, thoughtful ideas, risking boredom
either peace or war ingrained at everyturn
letting go of the cleverness hamlet hamster wheel
pulling heart threads taut,
casting the bloody tinsel wide and deep
It's all truth!
Because The Seed grows beyond the limits of comprehension
Because to magick is to choose to play with heaviness tenderly
Because I believe in the Glorious Wow of purpose
Because the proof flows through and with me at everyturn
whether or not I understand the why of the motion
It's dancing I live for, for through healing i am healed
For in yielding i yield such far-out fruits
never bought, never sold (give em while they're ripe!)
playing gender, not games--Not Me!
dominance moonwalking on the edge of a dime,
the followed and follower mirror One Mind
Finally forgetting frustratingly mysterious burlesque fronts
the crudely fitting masks wobble on our true faces
as we gesticulate, take flight
glimpse no-self
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